I Try This Thing: Chips Ahoy Root Beer Float Cookies

Hello readers/disciples of the #foodlyfe! (not actually a real thing) I’m currently on a spring break trip with my family.  The 11 of us are packed into this round-shaped house in a neighborhood next to Sugar Mountain, NC.  It’s very rustic and wintery up here and we had a great time tubing this morning!

All this activity, however, has left me exhausted.  Even though I have a queue of 4 posts with recipes and photos yet to be edited, I’m going to further postpone them and use this review instead.  And most of you college kids are going to be on spring break anyway, so here’s a fluffy review to tide the blog over until everyone has access to a kitchen/motivation to cook instead of going to Waffle House.

Review: Chips Ahoy Root Beer Float Cookies

The big package.

The big package.

One evening Christian brought home a bright blue pack of Chip Ahoy cookies from the grocery store. Upon further inspection they turned out to be Root Beer Float-flavored. Not root beer, but Root Beer Float. I have no idea why the distinction, because the cookies taste EXACTLY like root beer. And it’s not good.  I’ll divide this into Appearance, Smell, Texture, and Taste. Let’s take a closer look.

And a side-by-side comparison.

A side-by-side comparison. The cookie was so gross that instead of biting it I just tore out a bite-shaped piece and threw it away.

1. Appearance

Upon opening the package, I found that the cookies were smaller than I had expected.  However, they look pretty similar to the picture on the package, albeit with fewer white chocolate chips.  They look pretty appetizing. So far, so good.

2. Smell

The cookies smell faintly of root beer.  It’s not a subtle smell, just a weak one.  No discernable buttery/chocolatey/ cookie smell at all, just faint root beer.

3. Texture

So this is where it starts to get wonky.  It is “Chewy” Chips Ahoy, and those don’t have the best texture to begin with.  But the texture of this particular cookie is like play dough.  There’s no resistance to the cookie at all; you take a bite and it collapses into a kind of doughy, gummy mush. Let me put this in perspective: I spit it out.  That’s a big thing for the human garbage disposal.

Pretty small cookies.

Pretty small doughy cookies.

Taste:

The low number of points earned in this category make “Taste”  second to last to only “Texture”.  I expected maybe the white chocolate chips to taste like root beer float (as in root beer+ ice cream) or maybe the chocolate chips (since they were the color of root beer).  But no, the whole cookie tasted POWERFULLY of root beer.  As in when I bit into the cookie, I was overwhelmed with a chemical-tasting, sickly sweet root beer flavor instead of anything the buttery, chocolately taste of a cookie.  The only solace from the root beer flavor was the white chocolate and chocolate chips, which were thankfully not root beer-flavored.  But the chips were few and far between, and were also too sweet.  I have no idea where the “float” of the phrase “root beer float” came into play, by the way.

Final Verdict:

If you are a root beer fanatic, maybe you’d like this cookie.  But if you are a lover of fine root beers (does that exist?) or have any cookie-related integrity, DO NOT BUY THIS COOKIE.  It’s basically a crumbly, doughy, root beer-flavored disc. You have been warned.

2 comments

  1. Mattzilla says:

    You questioned if root beer connoisseurs exist?!?! And nobody has cookie-related integrity. That’s why things like this exist (and why we buy them…and then weep). Actually, I’m convinced you didn’t get the whole experience. You’re supposed to coat the cookies in your tears as you cry about the life choices that led you to buy root beer float chewy chocolate chips, THEN eat them. That’s the secret they don’t tell you on the package.

    • lily says:

      I’m pretty sure I didn’t get the full experience either! That would’ve actually entailed eating the whole cookie, instead of spitting it out and giving the rest to the human garbage disposal (my brother). There’s also a mint-chocolate chip ice cream flavor available if you want to try that and get back to me! (so I don’t have to taste it :P)

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